Hindu Marriage

Here is a brief description of a typical South Indian Hindu marriage. I want to put this on my blog especially for the Hindus than for the non-Hindus. In this era, the younger generation takes the marriage formalities as fun than realizing its significance. The couple should have knowledge on the Hindu marriage and realize its inner meaning in advance to their marriage.

Vagdanam or Kanyavarana (betrothal)
The preliminary part of the marriage ceremonies consisted in the “vagdanam” (betrothal) or oral giving away of the bride to the bridebridegroom. In early times, the selection of the bride and the bridegroom was mutual either from love or other considerations, and in the majority of the cases love formed the dominant factor. Even in the Rigvedic times, the bridegroom approached the bride's father, to whom the formal proposal was made. If the bride's father approved the selection, the marriage was settled. Within the month of marriage, on an auspicious day, the Kanyavarana ceremony should be performed. The bridegroom, well-dressed and we1l-adorned, with music and chanting of sacred verses, should go to the bride's home with a loving heart. Then the bride's father should give his consent happily. The bridegroom, having propitiated Sachi, should worship the well-adorned bride and pray to her for good luck, health and progeny.

Haridralepana (besmearing)
Ceremony performed before marrige is besmearing the bride and the bridegroom with ointment of turmeric root and oil, a day or two before the wedding. The above substances besides being useful to the body are regarded auspicious also.

Day 1:

Swagatam (ceremonial welcome)
The bride's family welcomes the assembled guests. The bride's brother welcomes the bridegroom as he enters the wedding arena. The bridegroom pays respect to the bride's parents, and they offer him their blessings as well as items to be used during the wedding ceremony.

Ganapathi Puja
As in an inauguration of any function so also in a marriage – Ganapati, the God of Initiation is invoked, to keep away all impediments.

Vratham
The marriage ceremonies begin with the Vratham performed separately by the bride and the bridegroom. From there on, the bridegroom prepares himself for a new chapter in his life as a “Grihasta” (householder). The days of his “brahmacharya” (bachelorhood) are now over and the acceptance of this is all what the vratham is about.

Vaaku Nichaya Muhoortham (Final betrothal)
At the marriage hall, the bride’s father and the bridegroom’s father facing each other, solemnise the final betrothal ceremony, the vedic priest chanting the relevant hymns-in which the names of the bride, the bridegroom, as well as the names of their three generations of ancestors, are cited in presence of friends, relatives, and invitees. This is repeated thrice. This act signifies that the people assembled should know that both, the bride and the bridegroom, come of good families, the pedigree of which can be traced to many generations.

Day 2:

Kasi Yatra
Immediately after his student-life, the young bachelor has two alternatives before him – “Grihasta” (married life) or “Sanyas” (asceticism). Being by nature escapist, he prefers the ascetic life to the tribulations of married life. He therefore makes his way to “Kasi” (Varnasi, a holy place in India), complete with slippers, umbrella, bamboo fan etc. On his way, the bride’s father intervenes and advises him of the superiority of married life to ascetic life. He also promises to give him his daughter as companion to face the challenge of life. The umbrella is to remain with bridegroom, to remind him in the future, of this advice.

Jaya Mala Dharana (exchange of flower garlands)
The bride and bridegroom exchange flower garlands, showing their decision to accept each other as husband and wife and to honor and respect each other.

Oonchal (Swing)
Then, the marrying couple is seated on a swing; they rock forth and back, as the ladies around sing songs to praise to the couple. The chains of the swing signify the eternal karmic link with Almighty above; the to-and-fro motion represent the undulating sea-waves of life; yet, in mind and body they shall move in harmony unperturbed, steady and stable. Water, and lighted lamps are circulated around the swing in order to guard the couple against demons and ghosts. Coloured globules of cooked rice are waved in circular motion, and thrown away to propitiate the evil spirits.

Kankana Dharanam (tying he protective cord)
The bride ties a string fastened to a piece of turmeric, around the wrist of the bridegroom – to bind themselves by a religious vow. It is only after tying the kankanam that the bridegroom gets the right to touch the bride. A little later, the bridegroom ties a kankanam on the bride’s wrist.

This ceremony was very important in ancient times, because from this time until the “samvesa” (sexual union) was performed, the bride and the bridegroom could suffer no pollution, as they had “kankana” (protective cord).

Vastra Paridhapana (exchanging new cloths)
The bride and bridegroom exchange new cloths, which is symbolic of wrapping themselves in each other's lives.

Kanya Dhaanam (giving away the bride)
The bride then is given an exclusive new koorai saree. The saree is draped around her, usually done by the sister of the bridegroom. The bride is made to sit on her father’s lap and is given away as gift by him, to the bridegroom.

The father of the bride, while offering his daughter chants: "I offer you my daughter, a maiden virtuous, good-natured, very wise, decked with ornaments to the best of my ability that she shall guard the Dharma, Wealth, and Love!

On the girl’s head, a ring made with “kusa” (the sacred grass) is placed. And over it, is placed a wooden yoke, the gold 'thaali' or the 'mangal sutra' is placed right on the yoke, and water is poured through the aperture. The Mantras chanted at this time, say: "Let this gold multiply your wealth! Let this water purify your married life, and may your prosperity increase. Offer yourself to your husband!"

Samkalpam Mantras (statement of purpose)
The bride's parents place her hand in the bridegroom's and formally give her hand in the marriage. The couple pledges total devotion to each other and to the uniting of their hearts. While giving away the girl, the guardian puts forward following condition: "In the attainment of Piety, Wealth and Desire, she is not to be transgressed." To this the bridegroom promises, "Transgress her I wil1 not”. The same promise is asked and repeated thrice. And brings the couple together with a sacred mantra.

Mangalya Dharanam
The bridal necklace, called Mangalyam, is passed around the congregation for their blessings. The presiding priest then hands it over to the bridegroom. With the chanting of the appropriate hymn, the bridegroom places the necklace around the bride’s neck and ties by putting two knots. The third knot is usually made by bridegroom's sister. This act symbolizes the essence of matrimony, "Thou art the reason of my life from now on. May you live happily with me forever with this Mangalyam." As he does so, the Nadaswaram and drums are beaten loud and fast (this is called Getti Melam) so as to muffle any inauspicious sounds at the critical hour.

Maangalyam thanthunaanaena mama jeevitha haethunaa
kanttae bathnaami supahae sanjeeva sarasa satham

Meaning: This yellow rope is mangala suthram. This will help my longevity. I shall now tie this rope in your neck. I pray you live happily for a hundred years.

Sindhur Dana (the mark of marriage)
The bridegroom places the “sindhura” or “kum kum” (an auspicious red powder) in the part of the bride's hair.

Paani Grahanam (holding hands)
The bridegroom holds the hand of the bride. The Manthras say: The Devas have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a Grihasta, we shall not part from each other even after we grow old!

Bridegroom lowers his right hand and catches bride’s right hand with all the fingers together. Four mantras are recited at that time, to convey the following:
1. I hold your hand to keep you with me to raise good children and till you become old. Devatas including Indra have offered you to me to become the Lady in charge of the house.
2. Sun God/Lord Agni, who have been powerful when they were having their "Grahasthasrama" has given you to me.
3. Oh, Goddess Saraswathi, you should protect us well. We will offer our oblations to you before all the creatures of this world.
4. Let the Vayu God who cleanseth and pervades all directions and corners, and who holds Gold in his hand and is the counterpart of Agni, unite you with me in mind and thought.

Sapta Padi Gamana (seven sacred steps)
Holding the bride’s hand, the bridegroom walks seven steps with her.The bride and bridegroom begin their journey of a new life together by reciting seven sacred vows: strength, power, upholding vows, happiness, prosperity, increasing spiritual understanding, and maintaining religious faith. This is the most important part of the marriage ceremony, and only when they walk seven steps together, is the marriage complete legally. Now that the bride and bridegroom have become ‘Husband and Wife’, they perform the sacred rituals together since no such vedic rituals can be performed hereafter by any one of them without the other.

Pradhana Homa (offering of to Agni)
The couple circle around the “Agni” (fire), and feed it with ghee, and twigs of nine types of trees, as sacrificial fuel. The fumes that arise, are supposed to possess medicinal, curative and cleaning effects on the bodies of the couple. Agni, the mightiest power in the Cosmos, the sacred purifier, the all-round benefactor, is deemed as witness to the marriage.

Ashma Kramana (treading on the stone)
Bridegroom then holds bride’s toe of the right leg and places it on a stone placed to the right side of Agni. While doing so, he says through mantra: "May you be steadfast as the stone, let your mind be rock-firm, unperturbed, by the trials and tribulations of life! Then, the bride's maternal uncle's wife places “metti” (a silver ring) on one of the little toes of the bride as a gesture of love. Earlier married women as well as men wear metti. These days only women wear it. Why???

Laja Homa (offering of rice for prosperity)
The bride and the bridegroom pour puffed rice and grains, mixed with sacred leaves, into the sacred fire. By offering to Agni, they confirm the vows and they ask the blessings for prosperity, happiness and success in family life.

Ashirvad (receiving blessings of parents and elders)
After bowing to the deities, the bride and the bridegroom ask for the blessings of the priest, their parents and other elders for a long and happy life together. The elders shower “akshadai” (rice-grains coated with turmeric

Griha Pravesam
Taking with her, fire from the Laaja homam, the bride takes leave of her home, and enters the new home of her in-laws. The vedic hymns now sound likes the mother’s words of advice to her daughter: "Be the queen of your husband’s home. May your husband glorify your virtues, conduct yourself in such a way that you win your in-law’s love”.

Nalangu
Nalangu includes: the bride anointing the bridegroom’s feet with colour paste, fanning him, showing him a mirror, breaking papads over each other’s head, wrenching the betel pack from each other’s hand, rolling the coconut from one to another as in ball-play, etc,. Probably, in olden days, these events would have helped the bride and the bridegroom to get along since on those days the couple would not meet each other and barely speak before their wedding. It has got no significance in this era. This event is only for the fun at the cost of the couple.

Mangala Aarthi
The elders in the family brings the sacred lights on pan leaves placed on lime & turmeric powder mixed in water on a plate and circle around the bride and bridegroom, it is said this is done to ward of the evil eye. Actually this is done so that the mind of the newly married couple be illuminated by wisdom and wishes them happiness and prosperity.

Kamasutra
Kamasutra was written by Mallinaga Vatsyayana, over 2000 years ago. He lived in Benaras between 500-600AD. Kamasutra is a classic of all time. It consists of 7 books, 36 parts and 1250 slokas or verses. It is a kind of Tantric sex which is spiritual sex practice.

According to Vedas, Dharma + Artha + Kama = Moksha (liberation)